Parenting Time Considerations as Children Grow and Develop
Minnesota Parenting Time - Child Developmental Factors
When determining what parenting time schedule is appropriate for any given child, it is important to consider what is in the child’s best interest—not the parents’ best interest. A parenting time schedule that is beneficial for a child may not always be ideal for the parents. Child development must be considered when constructing a parenting time schedule that is in the best interest of any given child. While this is often a complex issue that many parents and lawyers do not fully understand, the following factors are important to consider:
The developmental stage of the child;
The child’s temperament;
Level of parental involvement;
The impact of untreated mental or chemical health issues on a parent’s parenting capacity;
Special needs of the child;
Safety issues related to domestic violence; and
Level of parental conflict.
Feasibility of the Proposed Schedule
When taking the above factors into account, and determining the most feasible schedule, the child’s age, developmental stage, and special needs should set the framework for further discussions between the parents regarding other factors or considerations that will either support or hinder how well the child adjusts to the proposed schedule. For instance, parents must consider:
The impact on the child of the number of transitions and exchanges per week between each parent’s home;
The distance between each parent’s home;
Each parent’s availability to provide care for the child;
Each parent’s ability to communicate and cooperate effectively;
The potential for the child being exposed to parental conflict;
The similarity of the rules, routines, and expectations each parent has for the child; and
The ability of the parents to support the other parent’s relationship with the child.
For children who have autism, down syndrome, ADHD, or otherwise have a neurodevelopmental or psychiatric disorder, a schedule that provides adequate structure, is consistent in routines between parental homes, and allows for continued access to recommended therapeutic, medical, or educational services is an additional factor parents who find themselves in this situation must consider.
While divorce and separation may be stressful for the parties, it is typically more stressful and disruptive for the children. A consistent parenting time schedule set forth in writing that supports the children’s relationship with both parents is important throughout the first 18 years of a child’s life. Parenting time schedules that change and adjust as the child’s developmental needs change are typically most effective.
Considerations for Infants and Toddlers
Developing a parenting time schedule for infants and toddlers can be a difficult task, as these children have limited ability to adapt to sudden changes within each parental home and between homes. It is important to understand that infants and toddlers rely on their primary attachment figure or figures to care for them and assist them in managing stress. With this in mind, infants and toddlers typically benefit from more frequent contact with each parent, as this is crucial for developing the parent-child relationship. However, frequent overnights away from the primary attachment figure for children under age two should be implemented with caution.
It may be worthwhile for parents to implement a gradual or incremental parenting time schedule for infants and toddlers that gradually expand over time. If all goes well, and the parenting time schedule slowly expands as the child grows and develops, this may eliminate a future need for the parents to return back to court. However, without knowing exactly how any particular child is going to grow and develop in the future, and incremental or gradual schedule may not give parents the certainty that they desire.
Considerations for School-age Children (Ages Six to Twelve)
Children in grade school or approximately between ages six and twelve are typically able to tolerate longer periods of time away from either parent and less frequent transitions or exchanges may in fact benefit a child’s academic performance and success. However, this does not mean that a week on/week off schedule is necessarily the best schedule for all children in this stage. Elementary school age children (especially closer to age 6) may still feel a sense of confusion when transitions occur, as these children are still a still developing an understanding of time. For this reason, younger children in this age group often benefit when the parents work together to create a hard copy or physical calendar that the children may reference.
Considerations for Adolescents
Unlike infants and young children, adolescents can manage a wide range of parenting time schedules and may in fact express a preference for a particular schedule, which could be based on a variety of reasons, such as a desire for less transitions, which residence is closer to their peers or friends, involvement in extracurricular activities, and which parent allows them more freedom. Adolescence is characterized by the transition toward independence and self-identity and, for this reason, an adolescent may favor a flexible schedule rather than a strict one, as a flexible schedule may better accommodate the adolescent’s life. While adolescents may express a preference that seem reasonable, parents should keep in mind that an adolescent is still a child, their brain is still developing and, specifically the part of the brain that allows people to consider multiple options and consequences is not fully developed until the person is in their mid twenties. As such, while parents may wish to consider their adolescent’s preference, they should not give their adolescent decision-making authority when determining a schedule.
Conclusion
In order for parents to establish an effective parenting time schedule, they need to consider the development of the child. Consideration should be given to all relevant factors, including, but not limited to, the age of the child, each parent’s level of involvement in caring for the child, the consistency of care between households, and each parent’s ability to support the child’s relationship with the other.
The attorneys at RAM Law PLLC have helped numerous parents of diverse backgrounds and experiences construct and tailor parenting time schedules that were most appropriate for their individual situations. Our attorneys are always mindful of the developmental stage the particular children are in and the parenting time schedule that may be most appropriate. If you are establishing a parenting time schedule for the first time, or wish to modify parenting time based upon your child’s changing needs and developmental growth, contact the attorneys at RAM Law PLLC to schedule your free initial consultation.